Here's a quote that sums out the journey of the last few years, or maybe my whole life. Somehow running into a brick wall this time last year has set me free to discover it's truth.
From CS Lewis. . . of course.
Give up yourself, and you will find your real self. Lose your life and you will save it. Submit to death, death of your own ambitions and favourite wishes every day and the death of your whole body in the end: submit with every fibre of your being, and you will find eternal life.
Keep back nothing. Nothing that you have not given away will ever be really yours. Nothing in you that has not died will ever be raised from the dead.
Look for yourself, and you will find in the long run only hatred, loneliness, despair, rage, ruin and decay. But look for Christ and you will find Him, and with Him everything else thrown in.