Our passion for God must be awakened till it becomes the controlling center of our life. Larry Crabb
A couple of weeks ago I found myself functioning at about 10% effectiveness. Just trying to get through each day. I’ve got a history with depression so I’ve been there before.
It’s been a long time since things have got that bad. I knew what was going on. I knew I would eventually come out of it. But that didn’t seem to help. I just felt powerless, ashamed and beaten.
I’m the “movements guy”. I’m the expert on what happens when God moves in extraordinary ways. Physician heal yourself!
That's when I wrote this post, partly for myself, partly because I hadn't been able to write for a week and I had to write something just to get started again.
In the middle of this mess I picked up Larry Crabb’s Soul Talk
It had been on my bookshelf for about three years. Waiting for this moment. I was now ready to hear what Crabb was saying.
The bad news is my life is a mess. Your life is a mess. The world is a mess. The good news is, God is using this mess to form the life of Christ in us.
It was then that I realised I had drifted from making God alone the central passion of my life. I had lost faith that Christ truly was enough, even when I felt beaten and depressed.
In the old days I would have toughed it out. When all else fails you surrender your will to God regardless of the cost. You keep going. I can do that.
But God offers so much more than mere surrender and survival. Because of the JOY set before him Jesus endured the Cross, despising it’s shame (Heb 12:2).
I had lost my appettie for God. I was obsessed with my needs. I longed to be obsessed with God once again.
That is the place I have come to. It’s good be home again.